Freedom from Fear --- of Death and Dying

Heaven is mysterious; dying is a mysterious way to get there.  With so many unknowns, how can we face the end of life with peace, and even joy?

Although death is known to be as certain as life (and taxes!), for most people the thought of actually talking about the emotional and spiritual questions surrounding death is paralyzing – even talking with those close to us can be intimidating.  In my profession I help people with practical aspects of passing on – wills, trusts, and other documents.  But rarely do I get to have discussions on the emotional and spiritual questions surrounding death.  When I do, I count it a great privilege. 

This blog post is an attempt to speak hope and peace to those who are facing the fears surrounding death and dying – their own or others.  (In case you are new to this blog, please realize that I am approaching this topic from the viewpoint of a believer in Christ who firmly believes the truth of the Bible.  Whether that is your belief or not, I encourage you to keep reading!!)

Fear of dying has a lot to do with fear of the unknown.  With rare exception, those who have died have not come back to tell us about it.  Those who have returned, after being clinically dead for a brief time, bring reports of a sense of overwhelming love, encountering God, Jesus, or a god-like figure (in one study 75% of those who had been atheists before they died actually had this experience!).  Other common experiences are meeting loved ones who have already passed into heaven and feeling drawn up into light.  On the other hand, some people who have died and come back report the experience of approaching something dreadful (like fire or a pit) and then are sent back to their bodies for a "second chance."  

Because each person’s experience is unique, just as each person is unique, I cannot use those experiences to know exactly how it will feel and look when I pass from this life into the next. Nor can I cling to any one story of a life after death encounter as my guide or "gospel." At the same time, the collection of experiences and the verifiable facts of a few of these*, can help us in our understanding and acceptance that there truly is life after death. 

I would venture to guess that the reason many people experience the fear of death is because they aren’t even sure where they will go when they die (or perhaps they imagine death as just some vague state of not being).  

Therefore, the first step in quelling the fear of death and dying is clear: a personal knowing that heaven is my certain destination.  The essential truth is that we humans are created by God, loved by God, and given free will to choose to love God or not.  Having been separated from God by our choices to not obey God (and essentially be our own god), we needed help to restore our relationship with God.  Jesus came for the purpose of restoring our relationship with God.  Why?  So that we can spend eternity with God (God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit) in paradise. 

If you are asking, “How can I have this relationship with God?” and “How can I be sure I am going to heaven?” -- please scroll down to “**Be Sure of Your Salvation**” at the end.  

or click here:  How to Get Closer to God

Those who know Christ need not fear, for their eternal destination is secure. If you still have doubts on this, prayerfully read through the book of First John (I John) and ask the Lord to help you understand this better.  

If you are sure where you going but still have fears, you are not alone!  Please keep reading!

How There Can Be "No Fear in Death"

Admittedly, though, even those who are Christ-followers, and who know they are destined for heaven, may still have a fear of death and/or dying!  One thing that can help us to be less afraid, though, is the knowledge that we will indeed be with Jesus – with Him in life, with Him in the process of dying, and with Him after death.  Scripture tells us that NOTHING can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus! 

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, ^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:38-39.

In one of Paul’s letters he addresses death like this. 

“Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.  … [and those who remain] will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. (1 Thess. 4:13-17)

Heaven is mysterious; dying is a mysterious way to get there.  So how can we face the end of life with peace, and even joy, when there is such mystery?

First, let’s consider the truth of this scripture.  “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him—but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.” (1 Corinthians 2:9-10)

While we cannot perceive heaven with our earthly senses, we have God’s Spirit that reveals some things to our spirits.  When we quiet our environment and our minds, we can begin to sense the reality of God’s presence.  This presence reveals to us his love, peace, and joy – the reality of who He is.  This is the reality that fills heaven.

Take some time to read and meditate on (reflect at length, reading out loud, writing/journaling) the passages below. Pray as you read, asking God to help you understand clearly.  God does not want you to be afraid of death or afraid of dying.  Ask God questions and listen.  (You may want to print this out and keep it with you throughout the day.)

Jesus said [to her], "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" (John 11:25-26)

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ. (Philippians 3:20).

Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling. (2 Corinthians 5:1-2)

For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. (2 Corinthians 5:4)

We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:8)

²⁰ I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. ²¹ For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. ²² If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! ²³ I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; . (Php. 1:20-23)

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. (Psalm 116:15)

We may know that death is not the end of life and that we will be with Christ after we die, but we may still wonder,  “What will it be like in heaven?” 

Imagining heaven isn’t easy.  Our brains are programmed to consider things from an earthly perspective.  But if we piece together all the scriptures, we learn that heaven is a place of connection with God, beauty beyond our comprehension, joy unspeakable, peace that passes all understanding, and exuberant worship and celebration.  It is also a place without pain, without fear, and without mourning or tears.  The old things are gone and the new that replaces it is something we all have to look forward to.  We will be reunited with those who have gone before us, and most importantly we will be with Christ who loves us more than anyone.

Certainly, the reality of heaven is complex to our human minds.  It is clearly not “a place up in the clouds.”  In fact, “up there,” though helpful to children, probably isn’t a helpful concept for many adults.  A more helpful concept may be “in a different dimension.”  We also know from scripture that at the end of this time we live in, the old order of things (everything we know by our five senses) will pass away, and there will be a new heaven and a new earth. Evil will finally be eradicated, and all those who embrace God’s goodness and love will celebrate with each other in an eternal reality that is glorious beyond our comprehension.  We will experience this glorious reality with spiritual senses, which most believe will be very similar to, but far superior to, our bodily senses.  We will see, hear, taste, smell, and touch at a new level and perceive realities beyond what we can perceive here.

Many books have been written on heaven, but before buying one, be sure that the book that you buy is based on scripture, not mere human imaginings! 

Here are scriptures to meditate on to encourage you that heaven is going to be amazing: 

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"—but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. (1 Corinthians 2:9-10)

Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. (2 Timothy 4:8)

So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. (1 Corinthians 15:42-44)

He will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The LORD has spoken. (Isaiah 25:8)

For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. (Revelation 7:17)

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. (Revelation 21:4)

How not to fear growing frail, dying, suffering, or other end-of-life-issues:

God’s Word to us is “Fear Not.”  It is repeated 365 times in the Bible!  But that does not mean that we will not face things that will cause a fear response in us.  To feel fear is human, of course.  To stay in fear is the problem!  When we are tempted to stay in a place of fearing and worry, we must remember God’s word to us is to do some important things to replace fearing and worrying.  God tells us to PRAY and to TRUST and to cast all our cares on HIM.  Scripture tells us that if we will keep the gaze of our hearts on God, then He will “Keep us in perfect peace.” 

Meditate (read, re-read out loud, write down, pray, and let your mind linger) on these scriptures:

“The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’’  Philippians 4:5-7.

God doesn’t necessarily take us out of our sufferings and situations, but he always provides us his love, power, and wisdom so that we can experience His goodness and nearness (the feeling of him being near to us) in those places of pain and suffering.

God promises that he is NEAR to the brokenhearted.  Perhaps the hardest part for us is to simply accept his nearness.  We must trust that God is always GOOD and that he sees the beginning from the end.  If we suffer, our suffering is not in vain.  Our present sufferings, Paul says, cannot compare to the glory those sufferings will produce for us.

Consider the following verses where Paul, Peter, and John express their confidence when considering the suffering Christians might have to experience.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. (Romans 8:18-19)

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. (1 Peter 1:3-6)

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. (Revelation 12:11)

One more reason that people sometimes fear death is worry about being a burden to others. That's a normal concern. But the Bible says we are all connected to one another (Romans 12:4-8 and 1 Corinthians 12:12-27). God gives us the blessing of caring for one another and serving each other, and in so doing we experience the life of Christ Jesus being real in us.  As we give of ourselves, we become more like Christ.  Therefore, as you become more dependent, you are giving those whom you love the opportunity to grow in their relationship with Christ, becoming more Christ-like, too.

Another fear is dying before your spouse, children, parents or other significant people in your life. If you die when your spouse or children still are living with you, they will deeply miss your love, support and care. Yet God loves them much more than you do. Be sure to write a will and provide as best you can for their future, and then put yourself and your family in God's hands. Don't be afraid of death or dying for their sake. If you die first, God will still be with them! Remember, God loves them much more than you do!  He will be their comforter.  You might consider leaving behind something that you write down for them, reassuring them of your love and God’s love for them, no matter what.

But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless. (Psalm 10:14)

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. (Psalm 68:5)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:6-8)

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

Let the verses in this study help you overcome being afraid of death or afraid of dying. But don't stop there. God wants you to make a difference while you are here on earth. He wants you to touch the world for Christ.

Meditate on the verses on this page, overcome your fear of death, and then make a difference for Christ!

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith. (Philippians 1:21-25)

If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. (Romans 14:8).

**Be Sure of Your Salvation**      

     

The Bible makes clear that no one is “good enough” to enter heaven on their own; no one is holy enough to be in relationship with God.  Jesus explained to Nicodemus in John chapter 3 that God sent him (Jesus) into the world so that those who believed on him (a word meaning put their faith and trust in him) would have eternal life. (Jn 3:16)  In connection with this discussion, Jesus said that to see the Kingdom of God one would have to be “born again” or born from heaven, by the spirit of God. (John 3:7). That is where people get the phrase “born again Christian.”  Jesus also said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6).  For more guidance on how this works, in Romans we read, “If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.” (Romans 10:9-10)

In reading this, remember that God created you, and he loves you! It is his desire that you be with Him forever.  But he will not (cannot) force anyone to love him (because there is no such thing as forced love); nor would he force someone to spend eternity in his presence if that is not the person’s desire!

If your desire is to spend eternity with your Creator and to spend the rest of your life here on earth loving and obeying his ways, then you can surrender your life today to Christ.  Today is the day of salvation!  For more information on this go to https://bible.org/article/gods-plan-salvation .

If you are ready to pray now, here’s a model prayer that may help you put your desire into words to speak aloud:

"Father in Heaven, I confess that I have not followed your ways. Please forgive my sins and make me new.  I want to belong to you. I invite you, Jesus, to be my Savior and the Lord of my life.  I declare that you are Lord and I surrender myself to you, as my Lord and Savior.  I put my faith in you Jesus Christ.  [And I look forward to the day that we will meet face to face.]"

If you just surrendered your life to God with a sincere heart, tell someone about it!  Be assured that Christ has now accepted you into his Kingdom and you now have eternal life. You are a Christ-follower, a child of God, and all the promises of heaven are yours.  You will begin to notice a big difference in your life, particularly a new desire to know God more and please him.  (If you do not, take some more time to ponder what all this means, and get someone to pray with you.  The words of the prayer are not "magic words."  God is interested in changing your heart and life.  If there is no change, and you experience no new desire to know God, then you remain in need of salvation!  Read the Bible and pray with a pastor or Christian leader.)  

Do not delay in responding to the changes in your heart. Set aside time as soon as possible to study the Bible, starting in the Gospel of John and continuing with Matthew, Mark, and Luke.  Find people who also believe in Jesus to encourage you.  If you need help finding people, let me know!

If you have surrendered your life to Christ in the past, but feel you are far from him, simply surrender again.  God will not refuse those who humbly seek him, regardless of where they have been.  You may want to pray the prayer above again, with sincerity and ask for a new beginning.  “When we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and forgives us our sins and cleans us from all unrighteousness.”  1 John 1:9.  The Bible says that "today is the day of salvation."  If your heart is surrendered to Christ today, rejoice, and continue to seek more and more of what God has for you in this life and beyond!

*footnote - One particularly interesting book on this Heaven is for Real, in which a boy age 4 encounters heaven during an emergency surgery, and he sees many things he could not have known.