Insanity?

You have probably heard of the fitness craze called Insanity.  Pop in a DVD every day and work out like a maniac for 30 minutes, pushing yourself harder and farther than you ever thought possible.  Give it your all for 60 days and, bazaam, you’ll have this amazing, athletic body.  Insane?  Maybe.  But if those results are really important to you, maybe it’s worth the craziness, right?

The other day I was talking with my daughter who is at college and was struggling with course selection and, ultimately, whether to stick with a science major.  Chemistry II loomed ahead like a monstrous fire-breathing dragon, threatening to devour her GPA … and her social life.  As we talked about the pros and cons of various majors and careers, she asked me, “Mom, did you enjoy law school?” 

I don’t think I’d ever used the words “enjoy” and “law school” in the same sentence, so the question threw me a bit.  But after a brief pause I answered, “I did enjoy the people I met and much of what I learned was interesting, but I can’t say I enjoyed it.   However, I really do enjoy the results - having a career where I meet wonderful people and help them meet their goals, and at the same time I can still spend a lot of time pursuing other things – like creative writing, and creative parenting.”   (I took a second to pat myself on the back for coining a new term without even thinking about it, since “creative parenting” captures much of the reality of my last 20 years, but she wasn’t that interested in my word art.  She just needed an answer.)

“Do you think I can really do it?” she asked – referring to all that it takes to get from here to being a physician’s assistant.

“You can do it," I assured her.  Later I added, "The real question is whether you’re willing to work that hard.”  Our conversation ended well, and she did end up registering for the Chem II beast.  Time will tell how much she will have to push herself to succeed in that class and beyond.  Yet, as I look back, I realize that many people choose NOT to go to med school or law school simply because it looks like … well, insanity.   They ask, "Why sacrifice years of your life working like a maniac in school?  Why push yourself harder and further than you ever thought you could go?"  And only the ones who figure out the "why" will proceed.

In my case, though,  I had no idea how hard law school would be, so it was more naivete than insanity at first.  Insanity was joining law review and pushing for As.  But the insanity didn't stop with law school.  We decided to have kids.  And when the first two were still in diapers I realized that parenthood is tantamount to law school in difficulty and sleep deprivation … except you can’t quit, and you don’t get Christmas and summer breaks!

Fortunately, however, kids that age are incredibly cute, and before we knew it we were talking about number three.  We were a little more insane at the time than most would be, though, for we decided to travel to the other side of the world, where we didn’t know the language, and adopt a toddler whom we had never met.  For domestic adoptions the prospective parents get plenty of information.  But our new daughter had been abandoned as a newborn with not a shred of i.d..  Everything was unknown and her photo looked a little … well… different.  Our international adoption doctor assured us, “That’s a normal look for 1 year old Asians.”  And we said, “Okay, then.  Let’s go get her!”

Parenting three children was a whole new ballgame.  My husband described it as going from “man-on-man” to “zone” defense.  I simply immersed myself in the insanity deeper and deeper, until one day when I heard the Lord say, “Bring them home and homeschool them,” I replied, “What!?!”  It took Him awhile to convince me, and longer to convince my husband, but by the coming school year there we were, learning together, through thick and through thin … thin referring to degree of patience I had by the end of each day.  However as months turned to years, rather than just surviving, we found we were actually thriving as a family, growing stronger and deeper together, pushing ourselves harder and farther than we had ever thought possible, and yet simultaneously learning to rest in the Lord and rely on Him.

To my amazement I look back and realize that during this time I was working, homeschooling three children, and watching as the Lord used us as a part of growing a vibrant worship and prayer ministry in our city.  And yet we still decided to step it up and add a little more craziness to our lives by deciding to adopt again.  Insanity?   Maybe.  Or at least it had to look that way from outside.  But from the inside it was simply the natural response, as we kept pushing into this thing we called YES.  “Yes, Lord.  Take us where you want us.  Do in us what you will.  We are yours.”   And soon we were again juggling the huge paperwork load of adoption.  Yet as soon as the paperwork was done, I was so eager to get to China and hold my new three-year-old daughter that I nearly threw a tantrum whenever there was the slightest delay in getting her.

November 1, 2005, we adopted Lia.  April 2006 we moved.  We continued to homeschool as we began the tumult of early adolescence for our first two while teaching the younger ones to read.   By necessity we grew more creative in parenting and homeschooling each year.  When I wasn’t working, I wrote stories, even books, but never had time (or energy) to perfect them for publication.  At that time I also became a sole practitioner (after 10 years at a law firm) so I would have more flexibility for the writing, and the craziness.   Perhaps one would expect that my prayers would have been begging for sanity.  But instead we couldn’t help but press in for more.  I still remember sitting on the living floor as I and my children prayed, “Lord, please let Daddy say ‘yes’ so we can adopt again.”  

Months later, my husband came home from a concert and announced, “Guess what God told me tonight.  Looks like we’re going to be spending another 20 grand!”   Later I phoned a friend, and I still remember the stunned silence when I said, “Guess what! We’re adopting again, and she might be eight years old by the time we travel to get her.”   When she finally replied, I believe it was along the lines of, “I knew you were crazy, but ….”

More years have passed with their share of us embracing other insane adventures.  Rock climbing with children of all ages; rappelling off half moon rock (before they closed it); rappelling down a waterfall.  Sending our daughter on mission trips overseas.  Fostering a child.  Building a house in Jamaica in 100 degree heat.  Pressing into “yes.”  Pushing ourselves harder and further than we ever thought we could go.  Sometimes I look back in amazement.  “How did we ever …?”

And yet the answer is clear – “Not by might, and not by power, but by the Spirit of God!”  In Him, and through Him, only, we were moved to what seemed insanely crazy -- “pressing on to grab hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of us.” 

Insanity?  No, quite the opposite, for the results are worth far more than we could ever ask or imagine!

P.S.  Yesterday at the conclusion of my RevAbs workout, I actually listened to the end rather than popping out the DVD.  There I was reminded of the flip side of pushing harder and further than you think you can go: "Don’t forget the importance of Rest and Recovery!  Get plenty of sleep, a healthy diet, restful downtime, and a day of rest between strenuous workouts."  

Thank you, Lord, for this season of relative rest, and may I press into this REST wholeheartedly, too!