We recently watched a movie in which a 10-year-old boy dies suddenly from an allergic reaction to bee stings. At the funeral, the pastor addresses the bereaved parents, family, and friends, saying, “God must have wanted him for a very special purpose in heaven.” The parents and other families nod sadly, as if somehow this thought brings some comfort.
But does anyone honestly believe that God needs to take people from earth to accomplish something in heaven?
It all comes back to the age-old question: "Why?" "Why do bad things happen?" "Who's to blame?"
It seems that lately, I have been hearing more and more Christian teachers explain disease, death, and “bad things” this way: “God doesn’t bring death and disease. Satan does.” They say that knowing this fact will make people feel better. For instance, a small boy is told that God took his mother to heaven. He decides he hates God. Then, when he is grown, he is finally told, “God did not take your mother away; Satan did it. When he hears this, he is no longer mad at God. He has someone to blame – the enemy.
We know that it is the enemy's intent to steal, kill, and destroy.
Having recently heard these sermons - the ones that decry this attribution of death to our God in heaven taking people from their loved ones -- I thought about whether I should debrief with my 12-14 year old daughters who watched the movie with us. I could tell them, “God doesn’t take people from their families. Satan is the one who kills, steals, and destroys.” But immediately I wondered what kind of peace that could possibly bring them. If satan is able to come in and kill and steal a 10 year old boy (and get away with it!), then doesn’t that also mean that God either could not or would not stop satan from doing so? And if that is true, then who can feel safe? I didn’t want to create another door to fear, so I decided to wait and get more revelation before addressing this question with my daughters.
I am currently reading another book, with a different focus. It postulates that neither God nor satan are to blame for the bad stuff on the earth. With great insight into scripture, this author explains that Satan does not have the power to kill – though he can work through people who give him authority in their lives. And on earth God has power, but He has delegated all his authority to humans; therefore, He does not have the authority to act -- unless people give him that authority. So, according to this reasoning, everything is in the hands of us humans. We make choices. We can cede authority to the devil or to God. Under this scenario, if we attempt to answer the question “Why do good people die untimely deaths?” we get a different answer. We can’t blame satan or God. Somebody (a person or more than one person) opened up the door to evil in that person’s life. And other somebodies failed to act in a way to counter that evil. This actually seems to make sense at one level.
However, when this theory is applied in actual life circumstances, I wonder if it leaves us with more questions than answers! For instance, a woman who was full of faith, love, and life recently died of cancer, even though hundreds of strong believers were praying for her healing. We are left with these questions: What did she do wrong, if anything? Perhaps we didn’t pray enough, or believe enough, or act in faith enough? Perhaps there was something we all should have done that we didn’t do? What type of answers could these questions possibly bring -- except answers that would fill us with regret, blame, guilt, shame, and remorse? Clearly shame, guilt, and blame are contrary to what God would want us thinking about her and about ourselves!
My conclusion: When we choose to question "why," none of the answers satisfy. Could it be that we are pounding on the wrong door?
Today the Lord reminded me that all of this frustration and asking “why?” over and over is simply us asking the wrong question. But why do we keep on asking the wrong question?
Maybe our wrong question comes from our incorrect assumptions.
For starters, our first assumption seems to be that we each should have a life that is relatively pain free. This is how life is “supposed to be.” The logic goes somewhat like this. Comfort/freedom from pain = "Good." Good is from God, who is a good Father. Therefore, Father God will obviously want us to be comfortable/relatively pain free. Things that make us uncomfortable (disease, injury, losing loved ones) are the opposite of “good.” The opposite of good is evil. And if they are evil, they must be contrary to God’s will and be “from the devil.”
But given the realities of this life, Paul's letters from prison, Christian history replete with martyrs, and the promised glory of the next life, which is eternal, perhaps we need to reconsider this assumption that all things that make us sad and uncomfortable are contrary to God's will for us in this life.
Our next assumption is that God, who is all loving and loves all, would (or at least should) want to create all people approximately equal in potential. Therefore, everyone should be born with about the same health and strength and ability to learn, and we should all have long, healthy, reasonably comfortable lives in which we get at least a good portion of what we desire. If we adhere to this assumption, then whenever we encounter someone who was not born “healthy and normal,” we have to have an explanation. Did God make a mistake? No. He can’t make mistakes. So, the devil must have done it, right? Well, no, not exactly. The devil can't create anything. Then this must be due to “sin,” right? (No, this is an error that Jesus addressed in John 9:3). So, we must again consider that our assumption itself is wrong.
Our first two assumptions - (1) that those things that make us sad and uncomfortagle are contrary to God's will for our lives and (2) that God intends all people to have healthy, strong, lives of essentially the same amount of opportunity - seem to be obviously faulty. There is one more assumption to consider..
We hold to the assumption that every life that God creates He intends to last a really long time here on earth – but minimally past age 70, 75, or fill in your own preferred age. With this assumption in place, we need explanations for every “untimely” death. We demand to have an explanation, even for those in Christ for whom death is just a passing from earth into the presence of God where they will live forever. "Why?!" we cry, and then despair when none of the explanations make any sense.
If we are honest with ourselves, we will realize that we all hold something close to these three assumptions - despite the fact that our life experience do not support them! And certainly history does not support them. In addition, there are plenty of examples in scripture that do not support them. If they are not supported by observation, history, or scripture, then where do they come from?
People are born and live only one year, or 10 years, or 20 years, though many now live into their 90s. Some are born blind and remain blind. Some are healed. Some have no legs, or only one arm, and some have little strength throughout their lives. It has been true throughout history. Why do we keep asking why? Indeed, often the people whom we admire the most (and write books and make movies about) are those who have been born with the greatest disadvantages and somehow overcome them! Locally, a young woman died of cancer at age 19 or 20, and her life was celebrated because she used her last few years to make a huge difference in the lives of others while holding onto the hope of eternal life when she passed. She inspired many! (Dare we say she did more in 20 years than most do with 80?)
History, retold repeatedly through books and movies, applauds and exalts the martyrs and celebrates those who make a huge contributions before dying young. Are those lives any less valuable then someone who lives to 90? (And, to ask an honest question, are the longest lives the most desirable?)
Our assumptions, then, may indeed be the main problem.
What if we looked at the whole thing completely differently? What if our primary purpose was not to figure out “why” and “who’s to blame”? What if instead our primary focus was on rejoicing in God’s good and perfect gifts - even when they aren’t what we expected? And even when they don’t last as long as we expected? Wouldn’t that change everything?
Perhaps we misunderstand and get frustrated because we aren’t looking at life from a heavenly, eternal perspective. Can we accept the truth of scripture: that these light and momentary trials are preparing for us an eternal weight of glory? Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, those who are poor, those who are poor in spirit.” His words carry a deep, deep truth. But is it truth we are willing to accept? Or perhaps we have heard the words so many times that they no longer carry any meaning for us?
Is it possible to mourn and rejoice at the same time? According to the Word, those who mourn are blessed and we are to rejoice in the Lord always. But can we truly embrace mourning and rejoicing simultaneously?
Jesus told us, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Perspective - The ability to see things rightly.
What if our perspective on life was one of gratitude for every blessing, every day, every breath? What if we stopped focusing on what’s wrong and chose instead to thank God in everything, like his Word commands? What if we could rejoice and thank God for every year we had with a friend or a loved one, rather than trying to figure out why their lives weren’t longer?
What if we could accept the comforting arms of our Abba Father, allowing ourselves to be held in His love that goes deep to comfort those who mourn? What if in allowing his comfort we find ourselves nearer to His heart than every before?
What if the pastor at the little boy’s funeral was able to help those gathered enter into a time of rejoicing, alongside the mourning? – a time of rejoicing that was focused on recognizing God’s goodness in allowing these parents the great privilege of loving and raising this boy for 10 years? A privilege that they did nothing to earn.
Did God take him away because he needed another helper in heaven? No!
Did God give him as a gift for these parents to cherish for 10 years? Yes!
God didn’t have to give life to a boy and place that boy in this home with these parents at all. But God did choose to give them this gift. Who are we to question that the gift was only 10 years long?
Do they mourn? Yes, of course! Deep mourning! But this mourning can still be laced with gratitude. And it can be the door to a nearness to God that draws them deep into His heart. This kind of mourning can lead to eventual acceptance and hope. This mourning doesn't end in hating God. Instead it ends in a life-affirming hope that can embrace others and walk through the valley of the shadow of death without fear or despair, walking with others, too.
A conclusion of sorts.
What did any of us do to deserve the love and life and gifts that we have been given? Who are we to question how long we get to enjoy them here on earth?
What if all our assumptions and presuppositions are so wrong that they are keeping us from embracing truth? What if these improper assumptions are blocking us from obeying scripture's admonishment to "Rejoice always," and "Give thanks in everything?"
Many years ago in a worship service I was having a hard time singing the song, "Father of Lights" ("Every good and perfect gift comes from above ..."). I had just lost my first child to miscarriage, and I felt empty, vulnerable, and deeply sad. The Lord challenged me, asking me: "Will you accept this gift, even though it wasn't what you expected? Will you accept the gift of carrying this child for only a short time?" He showed me a beautifully wrapped present. And I sobbed and sobbed, with physical pain and emotional pain, as I realized what he wanted me to do. He wanted me to open my hands and take this gift, to receive it, symbolically saying, "Yes, I accept what I cannot understand." Through tears, and a tearing of my heart, I obeyed, opening my hands to hold it. As I did, the Lord said, "If you can accept this gift, even though it wasn't what you expected, or wanted, it will become something that you treasure rather than despise." Opening my hands to say yes, though I could not understand it at all in the moment, was a crucial turning point in my life. I had to accept what I didn't understand.
Over the years I have watched as others have accepted gifts that were far more difficult - their child's cancer, their child's disability - and in that acceptance those individuals have found God's faithfulness to be complete. His faithfulness has been complete in those things that seem to be the opposite of good and perfect gifts. But they must be - because scripture is always true... every good and perfect gift comes from the Father.
Truth: To be born less than “healthy and normal” is to be born more dependent on God. Can we accept this life with limitations as a gift? Did Helen Keller accept her life as a gift? Yes! Did Fanny Crosby* count her blindness as a blessing in being close to God? Yes! These women accomplished FAR more than most people with intact physical senses ever dream.
Truth: To suffer pain – physical or emotional – can (and should) actually serve to draw us closer to Christ rather than cause us to question God’s ways. The apostle Paul asked for sufferings(!) so that he could fellowship with Christ and know Him better. And the Bible says that Jesus himself learned obedience from the things he suffered, (which must mean that in his sufferings he learned what it was truly like to be obedient as a human is obedient to God, since Jesus was already perfectly obedient to the Father in his identity as Son of God.
Since Jesus suffered far more than anyone will likely ever suffer, and He chose that suffering out of a heart of love, then who are we to rail against God (or satan, or ourselves) in the face of suffering? Could we instead rejoice as we have been commanded?
“In everything give thanks.” What if I could sit here and give thanks in everything? - setting aside all worry, fear, regret, and everything I assumed would happen? -- knowing that in my flesh I deserve nothing, but God in His mercy has given me life (at least 49 years’ worth so far!), and provision, and family, and relationship with Jesus, and eternal life with Him – Forever! – And eternal life for all those who believe! And a promised reunion with all those who have gone before! Isn’t that enough?
These are all just ponderings. I’m sure I will have plenty of opportunities to fall into the temptation to ask the “why” questions again. I just hope that at that time I will be able to enter into thanksgiving and praise, rejoicing for what I have (and have had) rather than what I thought I was supposed to have – what I assumed I was entitled to.
Lord, may I not fear today or tomorrow. May I not fear the fact that I can’t see the future – trusting that every day that you have planned for me is already written down and prepared. Every day that you have planned for each of my loved ones is already written down and prepared. We live to enjoy the unfolding of the mystery, the opening of the gift, knowing that each day is a gift. May I truly trust that all my days are in your hands! Remind me that there is NO FEAR in love, for perfect love casts out all fear. Lack of peace means I am not trusting you as I should. Let me truly put my trust in you, not in my assumptions, knowing that your plans are perfect (and my assumptions are full of holes.). May I have no fear of evil. “I will fear no evil.” For you are always with me.
I believe these words to be true, Lord: “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4).
So I trust that every sorrow and every disability and every loss embraced in faith for the glory of God will be redeemed in glory beyond what we can imagine now: “This light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:17–18).
Footnotes:
Frances Jane "Fanny" Crosby (1820-1915), American hymn writer and poetess, a blind woman, who wrote over 8,000 hymns. Once a preacher sympathetically remarked, "I think it is a great pity that the Master did not give you sight when He showered so many other gifts upon you." She replied quickly, "Do you know that if at birth I had been able to make one petition, it would have been that I should be born blind?" "Why?" asked the surprised minister. "Because when I get to heaven, the first face that shall ever gladden my sight will be that of my Savior!"
http://www.wholesomewords.org/biography/biorpcrosby.html
How many hymns did Fanny Crosby write? Francis Jane Crosby wrote more than 9,000 hymns, some of which are among the most popular in every Christian denomination. She wrote so many that she was forced to use pen names lest the hymnals be filled with her name above all others.
